Saturday, April 18, 2009

mmm the day just keeps goin'


I was so productive today at the library--I really feel like I actually learned a lot. Around 4 I got really hungry though and went to the health food store and picked up some peanuts and 3 pitted prunes. I ate the prunes on my way home and then cut up the other 1/2 lb of strawberries, spoonedout a bit over a cup of plain yogurt and a handful of peanuts (about double what you see in the photo.. I got seconds). I finished that off with a kashi bar to make it an early dinner.


And this is me, trying to take a photo with it cus I thought my outfit was cute, and my head got cutoff. Strange I'm putting this up? Yes. Except it makes me look curvy and I like that: sort of reminds me "guess what, if you dont lose weight tomorrow it doesnt matter, you still look damn good." You'd think that's counterintuitive but the thing is, I get so nervous about losing weight when I'm on a diet I sabotage myself (thus the no weighing more than once a week rule..) and I sort of want to just shake myself and say "don't freak out, you're OKAY."

So here's my shake.

PS You can really tell I use my legs a lot in this one... lol..

Today is looking delicious

So this morning I started off my day with a parfait I made last night. It has 0% plain yogurt, quick oats, frozen berries, maple syrup, more yogurt, and flax seeds. This morning I topped it with a strawberry. Overnight the berries had thawed and moistened the oats so they were wonderfully chewy.. It was an amazing treat. I was still hungry afterwards so I got anther bit of yogurt, added some flax seed (I got new flax seed! Its so wonderfully nutty and NOT rancid.. it says it doesn't need refrigeration?? Works for me..)
I also cut up 1/2lb of strawberries (on sale for 1.66 per lb!) and ate that happily with some tea.

I already have my lunch ready, I packed it last night; a salad of baby spinach, diced tomatoes (sitting in fat free sundried tomato salad dressing) and cut up carrots (I made a carrot dip by mixing some of the fat free dressing with fat free mayo--delish.) I also made a sandwich with rye, spinach, tomato, mayo, mustard, and a chickpea spread--in retrospect I should have used one of the million recipes for mock tuna salad, but I came close I suppose. Chickpea, mayo, lemon, cumin, garlic.. That with a grapefruit: in all I'm excited for lunch!


Friday, April 17, 2009


After heading to the library, I was pretty hungry around four and bought a twelve grain bagel with light cream cheese from Tim Hortons' for dinner. Not the most nutritious but I had to study!

After I went home and on my way ran into a friend--he gave me five minutes to get my running gear on and head out for the first outdoor run of the season for both of us. It was amazing.. we left at 7:06 and, minus a 5 to ten minute breaad when he had to buy water and then another small one when he got a bad thigh cramp and said his goodbyes, I ran until 7:55pm. I began my run back but by 8pm or so I noticed my hip and shin were both really aching on my right. I ended up speed walking the rest back and made it home by 8:45pm or so. (We'd taken a long route running)

I ate a cherry chocolate kashi bar as a post run snack and then went to make my lunch for tomorrow (no more pseudo-healthy bagels and cream cheese for me..) I also made something special for breakfast tomorrow (stay tuned for photos of both) and meanwhile had half a cup or so of chickpeas, a few spinach leaves, a carrot stick or two, and a few spoonfuls of plain fat free yogurt.

My body is exhausted, but I'm going to stay up and study a tad more (my mind isn't as tired at least).



Emotional Eating

I'm doooing it agaaaain...

So lunch wasn't bad, I had what little was left of the acorn squash (turns out I didnt finish it), some broccoli, and some corn kernels. I then had a SOL soy patty cus I'm feeling mopey and don't care what that soy may do to me. (It was in my freezer and needs to go..). I also had an orange and a cup of cocoa, and cleaned the kitchen.

About an hour later, not even really hungry, I made a big bowl (4 c.) of popcorn with splenda, nooch, and spices. 100% emotional eating. So I'm gonna shower, grab my gym stuff and books, head to the library and then hit the gym. Gotta keep myself from the pantry.


ate SO much

Yesterday I ended up eating way too much.. though I promise I was hungry for all of it, but I know I ruined my diet.

Then my friend and I found a little italian vegetarian restaurant on our walk. We were in the process of looking for a late lunch so it worked well!

They had only vegan and vegetarian foods and the workers there were charming and the chef spoke with a thick italian accent.

It was so har to pick what to eat, they even had risotto pie and sweet potato pie...

In the end we each had a vegan stuffed pepper. It was amazing!

My friend took a photo of me but was really careless about how it came out.. which is a shame because I had to take around 5 of her to get a good one. But oh well, I trusted her and thus did not know it was a thick shade of yellow and badly contrasted until I got home. I fixed it up best I could.

Later I had two egg whites and the rest of the acorn squash, as well as a peanut butter and white chocolate cookie. At the get together I had SO many multigrain tostitos, piles of homemade guacamole, tons of homemade hummus, and a taste of the tostitos dip. Yeah, I ate a lot. And I was still hungry! I split a Well bar with my friend afterwards!

Around sorority girls.. homemade guac doesnt stand a chance. We love to eat!

This morning I was even worse because I couldnt resist temptation and I stepped on my friends scale, I know hers is off but I think its telling me I'm back to my starting weight from the beginning of the week. Oh well... I do have months!

It is so destructive to step on that scale though, I was somewhat upset and overate at breakfast too.. I had a grapefruit and lemonzest luna bar, and then two muffins with margarine and a tablespoon or two of peanut butter...

I've calmed myself down and kicked myself a bit for panicking. I am fine. I am doing well overall. I have a lot of time, and so long as I am healthy and active my body will be fine.

On a more positive note: I found out my lab is sending me to Virginia from the 6th to the 15th. Not only will the road trip be fun, but I get to cook for myself there and collect data in the field and stay at a gorgeous field house and maybe see the capital. In all I'm really excited! I will be buying my own groceries so if there's somewhere I really should beg the driver to stop, let me know. We'll be staying around Winchester, VA ( to be exact) so the less off the route the better.


Thursday, April 16, 2009


Finished off my all-bran flakes, two bowls of it, with almond milk.. I had two yogurts and some ground flax which I finally admitted tasted off. After checking the expirey date and reading Sept 2008 (though it was in my mothers' freezer until about 3 weeks ago when I put it in my fridge) I tossed as much as I could, though I still ate some. I also darjeeling tea.

As a mid-morning snack I had Primal Strips Thai Peanut setain.

As I was cooking acorn squash and broccoli, just to have it cooked (so I'll actually eat it) I made hummus for a little get togehther I'm having later and scraped what was left in the blender with some broccoli I left uncooked as a second mid-morning snack. Mmm.. so creamy. I make it without oil, but with a healthy dose of tahini.. and in a blender.. I lurve mah hummus.


I had a bit more than half of the roasted acorn squash right out of the oven (sorry no photos!) and a piece of the broccoli before i put it all in tupperwear. I finished off lunch with a small individual piece of 70% Cote D'Or chocolate, and went to take a nap.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Green Food Day

This morning I had a grapefruit and a bowl of all-bran. This shower first thing is great: I always wake up ravenous, and my stomach whines in the shower itself, but by breakfast I'm near neutral. I ate only because I knew if I didn't eat I'd later regret it. I also had some black tea.. in the Dad mug. (Maybe I should explain the Dad mug.. it's a mug that holds about 2 cups of liquid which is perfect for me, because one cup of tea seems rather measly.)

I packed up my lunch, had a yogurt and another half bowl more of cereal and hit the road!

My study buddy was 3 and a bit hours late... which was interesting.. but while I was at the library I found out April 15th is Green Food Day! Well, I did well with the Spinach... Oh, and my friend gave me a piece of fair trade organic espresso chocolate.. cocoa camino maybe?

I was ravenous by 3 and had a protein smoothie made with a small banana, some berries, water and a splash of almond milk, sucralose and half a scoop of "interactive complete vegetarian" protein powder. I then gave in and decided to have a really early dinner and then later just have a small snack after the gym. I had two muffins, nuked and toasted with some margarine, some natural (brown bag and bulk kernels) popcorn with some spices and salt and stevia sprinkled ontop, and two source yogurts. After that I was truly full and came upstairs to post this and take a nap.. which by the looks of it wont happen as I need to head to the gym soon if I want to make it to my friends' by 8:30!

C'est la vie! So far so good though, I feel.

PS Check out Hannah's Odwalla Bar Giveaway over at Hannah Eats Finkleberries... time's a ticking and the contest will only be open for a little longer!
PPS Check out Peanut Butter and Juli's Perfect Food Bar giveaway!

Edit: I had a late snack of a granny smith apple and a handful of hazelnuts.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I had a snack of yogurt and a tablespoon or two of sunflower seeds and goji berries..

I had an early lunch so that I could spend the afternoon at the library. I bought a cape seed bun from COBS and filled it with egg salad made with 3 egg whites and just under half an egg yolk, from the easter eggs I still had in the fridge. I added a little bit of pink salt and pepper, as well as fat free mayo, and it tasted so nice! My salad was spinach, the seeds that fell off the bun, a sliced up apple and PC Blue Menu's Lemon Poppyseed Dressing. I had some hot cocoa (with extra almond milk) and a pinch or two of all bran cereal not pictured, but I promise it wasn't much. ;)

Unfortunately my plan did not work and I was ravenous by 3:30.. I devoured a grapefruit, yogurt, hardboiled egg white and peach and then proceeded to bake cornmeal tofu muffins.


They're made with tofu, whole wheat flour, egg white, whole grain cornmeal, almond milk, and some oil. They're about 110-120 calories each. I had FIVE with some margarine.. :-o That being said, I love any freshly baked good--I will revisit before I am willing to post the recipe.

The gym was awful today though, instead of the usual 40 minutes I do on the elliptical (I did less yesterday because Sunday was 1h20) I didn't even make it to 10--I burnt just over 100 Calories and called it quits. I did work with some weights (which is rare for me) and then did an hour stretch clinic before going to a friends... either way, not my best gym workout ever, I was just so lethargic!

Following a Trend

Oatmeal is a big favourite in blogland I've noticed, and while I usually have a small bowl with my breakfast I don't often make it the main feature. I decided to go with it today and made a bowl of oat bran with a large banana sliced into it (and a bit to just eat while I was waiting) and some dried cranberries sprinkled ontop. Wow, it was awesome and so filling--I looked up how many calories one could expect to find in just under 1/4 cup of uncooked oat bran and was taken aback to see it was somewhere between 50 and 75.. what?! I'm so FULL. The banana was huge though, I'll admit. I finished the last of my vanilla earl grey today, I'll need to get more soon... and I've really been feeling like baking since reading through everyone's blogs, so maybe I'll do that soon as well.

and a snack mid-morning...


Monday, April 13, 2009

Day 1

This morning I waited until 7:30 to eat by taking a shower first... it made my hunger a lot less urgent (usually when I wake up my body is screaming FOOD) and I ended up even clicking around online until I truly was hungry agan. Then I served myself the second half of the 95% fat free garlic and herb cream cheese sammich (on potato bread from easter mmm... so white but so good), an apple, a grapefruit I had mistaken as an orange until cut, vanilla earl grey tea and a small bowl of oat bran.. both with unsweetened almond milk.

I put ginger in my oat bran and went to add cinnamon post-photo, causing my bottle of organic vanilla to fall and shatter. Luckily it was almost empty but still. :(

I took a quick 1h nap before doing the kitchen chore and then heading out to study, having a snack of a peach with 100g of Source peach yogurt and some pumpkin seeds and goji berries. Oh, and a little bit of nori. ^__^

Lunch was at 1pm with my dad--we went to an an indian buffet. I loaded up with salad, and tried a small dollop of most of the veggie dishes. Not pictured is the quarter piece of naan I had, and the small plate of cantaloupe, an orange slice or two, and a small dollop of rice pudding. It was very satisfying. :)

I studied some more and then had a pre-gym snack.
Went on the elliptical for 30 minutes (300ish calories) and did a bunch of crunches and some back exercises.

Dinner was leftover oyster mushrooms, and some green beans and portobello mushrooms with a balsamic vinaigrette... for dessert I had one more serving of yogurt, with some ground sprouted flax and chia seeds, and some frozen berries. To cap it all I had some homemade, sugarfree cocoa.

Balsamic Green Beans and Portobello Mushrooms

1 generous handful green beans
1 large portobello mushroom
1 leek, chopped up
3 cloves garlic
olive oil to pan fry
4 tsp balsamic vinaigrette (approx half/half balsamic vinegar plus olive oil, with some salt and pepper to taste)

Preheat the oven to 450F. Toss the trimmed green beans and roughly chopped portobello in a baking pan. Pan fry the garlic and chopped up leek until golden, add to the pan and toss with the green beans and portobello. Drizzle with balsamic vinaigrette and cover with tinfoil. Bake until tender.

Sugarfree Hot Cocoa
makes one very large mug full

1T cocoa powder
1/3 c. sugarfree almond milk
1 c. water
2-4tsp sweetener of choice (to taste)
1 drop real vanilla

blend cocoa powder, sweetener, and as much almond milk in a pot as needed in order to make a paste. Add water and stir on medium heat till hot; pour into mug. Add in rest of almond milk to cool a bit, and sip away happily. (If you're not sure how sweet you want it, add sweetener at the end rather than at the beginning. Alternatively you can blend in a mug and just add boiling water, but the taste doesn't develop as well. Adjust the amount of water to taste--I like it somewhat watery. Feel free to add protein powder if you want an extra bit of protein!)

PS So I guess this is almost like a diary, judging by the fact I document my day give or take.. chances are it will stay like this, so I wont be offended if you don't wanna follow it. ;)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Goals,and The Rules

Ok, so I've been through a rollercoaster of weights these past two years. 154 to 128 back up to my current 138 or so. I was happiest with 130, and want to go back to there. It was somewhere I managed to stay without much thought for quite some time, I just feel I need to get back.

Meanwhile, every summer I "get athletic", so this summer should be no different. I'm working as a research assistant instead of a lifeguard for once, so it will be new, but it should be good.

So first of all, my goals:

1. To go down to 130, or lower so long as its via a steady healthy method. (No anorexia, no bulemia. I do have a history of both--they're how I origionally lost weight, which is the only reason I explicitly say it.)

2. To have an athletic (under 20% body fat) body.

3. To feel physically fit. I will consider a marathon or triathalon, but I will not force myself to commit to either; this is hopefully a life decision and learning experience and not necessarily to achieve a proximate goal.

My Rules:

1. To photograph, or at least document, everything I consume BEFORE I consume it. No more eating a full jar of peanut butter with a spoon just because.

2. To only eat when I truly am hungry. Re: peanut butter + spoon.

3. To go to the gym/do an athletic activity at least 5 times a week, preferably 7. My workouts are generally 40 minutes cardio at least, and I'd like to incorporate weight training. Running outside is lovely and I'll hopefully do a good bit of that, plus I am a gym member at the Uni gym riiight by my work anyway, as I'm working on campus. I should get a locker...

4. To eat as healthy and balanced as possible, and stick to my vegetarian diet.

5. To ONLY weigh myself on Sunday mornings at my parents. No weighing imbetween, it's just destructive and makes me obsessive. While this is a major effort I don't want it to be an obsessive goal.

6. To enjoy life nontheless! I want to feel free to go out, have fun, and be a normal individual. This will include the occasional scoop of frozen yogurt or plate of nachos I wasn't truly starving for. I will not "punish" myself, I will just continue from then on with my diet as was.

7. To start tomorrow (Monday, April 13, 2009) and continue until Monday August 31, 2009. In that time I will stick to these rules, post my activities, food, thoughts and musings, some photos and on Sundays; my weight... and hopefully attain my goal weight and fitness level in this 4+ month period. Honestly, 8 pounds in four months is not hard at all and I should be able to do it. So here goes.