Get Fit

i'm ok, promise

2009-06-28T17:32:00.002-04:00

I went and met my therapist for the first time today. I really like her, and she's already made some good suggestions for me to try and some very true observations about me.

things with k are going very well, and my therapist pointed out that a committed relationship might not be good for me right now--my issue is very much that i take the weight of the world and put it on my shoulders, and do i really need that weight?

it looks like i found a place to live, in a house with 4 vegetarian girls and a vegetarian (male) landlord, right on campus, so thats exciting!

i'm taking a medical leave from the sorority, and thats a good thing too--at the moment its an extremely negative and stressful place for me to be.

SO, in summary, so far things are going well--I didn't manage to do the 2 weeks but I got close, and since that post I've been rather good for the most part.

I'm also going to keep these updates infrequent until I decide if this is a good idea or not. I might restart with the photos, I also have lots of neat upcycling clothing projects going on... but till then xoxo and thank you for the concern, it means a lot to me.

Therapy

2009-06-14T12:48:00.000-04:00

So my mum saw the scars on my hand and freaked out.. infront of the entire neighborhood at the neighborhood annual potluck. I told her it was acid, alluding to it being a work accident, but I'm pretty sure at least some of the women in the group caught on past that. That was lovely.

She made a fuss about it today over lunch and my dad asked what it was--this time I told the truth. They want me to go to therapy, and offered to pay whatever the cost, and I think its a good idea to at least try. So I am currently hunting for a therapist/psychiatrist (is there a difference?)

The Environmentally Friendly Choice.

2009-06-11T06:42:00.004-04:00

So, as some of you may know, I work in the Evolutionary Biology and Forestry (conservation) building of the U of Toronto. Most specifically in the botany section. That being said it's understandable that my workroom is full of rather knowledgeable environmental lobbyists.

We had a discussion, after I read an article in Readers Digest, on what is truly the most environmentally friendly food option. Are GMOs bad at all? (The common belief in the science community is no, they really aren't. We don't get the issue.) Is organic really that great? What about that 1000 mile diet going around?

I came away with some of the things I'd been starting to think confirmed, other lessons I'd thought I'd learnt busted. Here's some interesting tidbits, and unfortunately I simply don't have the time to get you solid proof links. I do have access to a lot of databases the "common public" doesn't, so if any of the following really leave you skeptical, feel free to ask me to do some hunting!

ON EATING LOCAL:
-The 1000 mile diet leaves us the most upset. Why? Because it encourages some rather bad practices including:
-Using land for what its NOT best for. Eg: Land in California can grow up 5 times more strawberries per acre than land in Ontario, without taking into account that Cali needs significantly less irrigation, chemical aids, etc. So why are we wasting all the energy and polluting the environment for local strawberries? Ontario grows peaches so much better than Cali, if you catch my drift.
-Storage facilities. Eating an apple in the summer is NOT natural. How do you think you got that apple? It was in a highly ventilated storage facility which pumped ethylene out like crazy (no energy-efficient feat) and likely with the added help of 1-MCP.. Chemicals are never good, if only because producing them takes yet more energy.
-Believe it or not, the amount of gas per fruit used in shipping it TRANSATLANTICALLY, much less within the same continent, is often less than the amount of gas used by your car in going to get the groceries. Yeah. So when you shop local, take it to mean "from the local grocery store" versus "grown within 1000 miles."
-Don't get me wrong, local and seasonal is awesome, and supporting local farmers at the farmers market is cool. I just mean getting Ontario Apples in March at Loblaws versus something in season.

ON EATING ORGANIC:
-This is a harder one. As for the organic label implying non GMO... honestly... whats up with GMO hating? We develop GMOs all the time, mostly in order to avoid using pesticides or to increase yield. With GMO technology we manage to get the same amount of land to spit out TONS more food--that means LESS land we need to clear in order to make the same amount. Not getting the hate.
-As for the organic label meaning no pesticides.. this one I support fully and totally. Yes yes yes. Yes. Boooo pesticides. (I hate pesticide testing rooms in the greenhouse, creep me out to no end.)

ON EATING SEASONAL
-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. See my eating local rant for why. ;)

Other Labels
So what about...
-Shade-Grown Coffee=greener? Bullshit. It's MORE environmentally damaging: the habitat damage per acre is the same (100%) but because of the 'shade' sources, MORE acres are needed.
-Organic Bananas? Environmentally, bullshit.. ethically good. FREE TRADE Bananas=AMAZING. Organic bananas rely on organic pest control methods such as plastic bagging, and still make plantations which are the prime cause of Malaria, soil degradation, and habitat destruction in places like Costa Rica. On the other hand, at least the workers aren't living and breathing pesticides all day--it's caused entire villages to go sterile. Fun? Free trade gives the bananas back to the farmers, they plant them intersparsedly in the forests causing little habitat destruction, using little to no pest control, and avoiding plantation issues. :D

I'll have to update this as I think of more.. this is just something that's been bugging my mind and I had a free hour just now. That doesn't happen often!

So, to recap. What do I want you to be eating? (I do want you to eat..)

Look for, in rough order of importance:
1. Foods in season. (Mostly environmental reasons)
2. Foods that are free trade, or local. (Mostly ethical reasons)
3. Foods that are organic. (Mostly taste reasons.)

What's in season right now you ask? I did some googlin' for you to report what produce is in season for June:

Blog Poll

2009-06-10T07:01:00.002-04:00

One of the reasons I am somewhat loathe to post is that this was a fitness blog, and it has turned into a bulimia blog, for the most part, with only aspects of the fitness/health from before thrown in.

I was going to post my story, for example, and realized it was pretty intense and unfair to ask anyone who isn't prepared to read a bulimia recovery blog to read it... then again, its unfair to make assumptions.

So, I made this poll.

An update

2009-06-09T20:12:00.006-04:00

First, some updates.

1. I hope to make it through the next two weeks without binging. That's going from almost once a day. My hands are scarred and this is just plain stupid and senseless. As positive reinforcement, every day that I don't binge I get a sticker on my calendar. Funny enough I really enjoy this, and am looking forward to picking out my sticker later tonight. :) Hopefully in two weeks I'll have a really pretty calendar to post a photo of. If I can't do this, I have promised myself to talk to my physician and seek professional help.

2. I hope to take up yoga and or meditation, I feel it would be very good for me. In the past I've always been a bit bored with yoga, but I've looked to it as a physical exercise... perhaps if I look to it as an emotional exercise I will take to it better.

3. I have been reading Real Recovery from Bulimia & Binge Eating and doing some of the exercises. This site is helping me a lot.

I just read: Why Do People Become Bulimic

I was expecting so much bullshit, and instead found so much truth.

Some quotations:

Bulimics are often considered “ideal” children, and will go out of their way to be “people pleasers.” They present an acceptable facade—seeming outgoing, confident, and independent— while anxious feelings bubble underneath. They may be valued for not needing to be nurtured, for taking care of themselves, and for growing up early. Bulimia is a way of expressing what cannot be said directly in words, in this case something like, “I want to be taken care of,” or “Will you love me as I am?”

Sometimes, people use bulimia to postpone growing up. The child who has looked to others for validation and feelings of selfworth and who has assumed a “perfect little girl” role because it works at home may experience tremendous fear at having to trust herself and face the outside world alone. This insecurity is sometimes unconsciously reinforced by parents who also do not want to let go.

This rang true in so many ways. It also reminds me of something my last boyfriend said, the night we broke up (we had a very good chat after we broke up about this and that..) "It didn't surprise me that you were bulimic. You're always trying to be perfect, even though you don't even seem to know what perfect is. You're not even sure what you're trying to be."

As mean as that may sound, I love him a little for saying it, because I realized it was true.

Skewed Perception.

2009-06-02T22:16:00.002-04:00

Today I kept thinking about how fat my jeans made me look. They're two sizes two big, so its sorta normal that that happens, so I decided to go get some new jeans. I discovered I'm between a size 1 and 3.. maybe 4 in some really tight jeans. Yet I still am convinced I look fat. Size inflation or not--how ridiculous is that? I KNOW I'm wrong, but can't help but see myself as chubby. And I'm also aware that I'm relatively toned from going to the gym regularly for over 6 months, so its not even the good ol' "small but chubby" (20% body fat is after all considered fit.)

I see girls who are really really thin and generally think "gosh I hope I never get that small".. so why am I pushing myself towards it? Honestly, the girls I'm really jealous of tend to be either a)very toned or b)very tall. So the solution would be to go to the gym, and stop obsessing about weight, and/or get my bones elongated. Since you know, I sort of doubt I'll get the intensive surgery that would be required to make me 5'9", maybe I should just take comfort in knowing if I keep active I'll slowly but surely get more toned... and focus on eating healthy, not skinny.

Wonderful advice, right?

Anyway.. that's my day then.

2009-06-01T21:11:00.003-04:00

So the weekend was amazing. I had less episodes, and managed to control somewhat those I had (cutting them off not long after they start... working on not having them start at all, of course, but you take what you can get. At least this is physically less harmful to me!) I discovered my absolute love for gardening.. not surprising I suppose considering how I love studying plants and working in the greenhouse. In any case I planted tomatoes, parsley, cilantro, onions and cucumbers. I'll plant basil sometime this week, as it's good for tomato growth (and tasty of course).. I just really enjoy working in the dirt and making things pretty.

K and I spent Saturday finding him a sofa.. it was actually hilarious to do, just all the different, ridiculous, sofas out there.. the even more ridiculous salesmen, and then meeting Larry: an old, friendly, old-school salesman who charmed our socks off. We went for Ethiopian after and it was absolutely AMAZING.. I don't know what else to say about it. I love that the vegetarian dishes are intrinsically vegan, and the injera (a bready-product, made with teff) is gluten free. Usually injera tastes like napkin, but at the restaurant we went to (Nazareth, at Bloor and Ossington, for those who care) it was awesome!

Sunday we went and watched Up: honestly, that movie is beautiful, simply beautiful. I cried three times, and K must have at least once (I wasn't counting for him, but I noticed he had to wipe his eyes). I really love watching movies with him, as he really makes you appreciate them a lot more. (He is in the film industry, so it makes sense)

I also made some more salsa and black bean dip the other day, and K being a salsa aficionado got half the batch. He claims he loves it, and promises he's the sort that usually would criticize salsa and generally finds people don't make it right. Part of me will always believe that the compliments are for brownie points, but he did ask for more?

I also made some other goodies this weekend (what's post without images?)

Tomato, cucumber, and corn drizzled with garlic infused olive oil and some ground Himalayan salt.

bean salad: white kidney beans (rinsed well), with avocado, apple, walnut and feta cheese on top and a sweet balsamic vinaigrette (made with loganberry jam and fresh orange juice, balsamic vinegar, flax seed oil and garlic infused olive oil, and some local mustard)

tossed.

So, while I doubt I'll do this daily, as it would get repetitive, I think weekly or so it's a good exercise:

I still need to work on not binging. I need to work on not weighing myself. I need to work on not caring about my weight. I need to work on remembering I am beautiful without having the same body type as "that girl over there". I need to remember that I don't need to be the best or most at anything, including physically. Someone else's body does not make mine any better or any worse.

I am great at being happy and enjoying life. I am great at being a supportive, affectionate, and positive influence for K: and accepting his in return. I am beautiful, hot, cute, exotic. I am funny, witty, and smart. I can make people smile. I will do favors without any expectations of thanks or reciprocation. I speak my mind and believe in my opinions. I really enjoy my job, my friends, and my hobbies.

I?m a work in process, and I've got my flaws. I screw up sometimes and eat the wrong things, or too much. I will binge and purge sometimes, without really knowing why, despite how wasteful and self-destructive it is. I will criticize and judge myself and others sometimes. I will let myself loathe someone, or raise my voice in anger, or gossip. But I'm trying, and that alone ensures I can't fail; because nothing can be measured in absolutes in this world, and sometimes sincerely trying really is enough.

The Honest Truth...

2009-05-30T06:36:00.002-04:00

The honest truth about why I'm not posting is, yes--I am tired a lot, and yes--I do have issues with taking photographs with others around.. but a large part of it is my bulemia has kicked in full swing and hardcore. My throat ached all of yesterday because of some walnuts that scratched me on the way up, plus likely the acid that has been wearing at me for the past week or two. Yeah, its gotten bad.

I've also been eating foods I have put on limited--fruit mostly, but gluten, splenda, etc. are in there too. So you can imagine why I don't post a lot: half of what I eat doesn't stay down, so does it even count, and another portion of that I eat without taking a photo because I'm somewhat guilty about it!

I really need to recenter, refocus, and reevaluate. Maybe the last 2-3 pounds (I'm around 133 now) are NOT worth it. My clothes fit well, I know I'm good looking, I get told I look like I'm 110-115 lbs all the time anyway (yay muscle!) so who honestly cares?

I hope to update soon with a post on my relevations.. though I might do it next weekend: just shut myself up for a day and think, hard. (This weekend I have plans everyday! Oops!) I feel my daily posts will change from just logging my food to logging things like: exercise and how I feel about it or the lack there of, one positive thing I've achieved that day, at least.. be it drank 8 glasses of water, or went to the gym, or helped someone out... and one thing I can improve in.. be it the fact I binge/purged that day or I snapped at someone... Plus some photo foods, of course!

No final decisions yet, just a heads up.

x

so tired...

2009-05-27T23:17:00.003-04:00

work.. cooking.. photoshoot.. gym.. so tired.

Little words, big photos?

Made salsa from scratch. And (fat free!) black bean dip. So good.

Dill roasted potatoes

Salad for today's lunch.

Cutest mango you've ever seen!

Broccoli, lightly fried oyster mushrooms, and on the spoon is hummus. Mm.

pass out time.

2009-05-25T23:09:00.002-04:00

I was famished after work! I dug right into the guacamole, and then proceeded to eat a bunch of snacks such as the following:

Dinner was a really yummy chickpea in sauce (olive oil, mustard, asian hot sauce, soy sauce, lime, liquid smoke, honey, tomato puree, and a touch of PB) and a salad with balsamic vinaigrette. I had small portions of each because I was still somewhat full from my snack.

Around 10:30 I was rather hungry again and had a spoon or two of hummus and some more strawberries. :)

Day 1 of being BACK!

2009-05-25T06:45:00.004-04:00

A big thank you to finkleberries.. not only for the giveaway which won me a pack of Odwalla bars (wooo!!) but for kicking me back on the bandwagon.

I know its OCD and I'll get rid of my scale right now (I keep it in my dad's room during the week usually) but I had it this morning and weighed myself--back down to 133.8: so at least some of that was surely water weight. Whew! It just sucked thinking all my hard work wasn't working.

ANYWAY. Eats!

Ok first I want to mention I saw TONS Of Luna Bar flavors the other day at the nutrition store in Sherway--Chai Tea, White Chocolate Macademia, All the ones I saw in the states, and more... I would have bought one of each but they were an astounding $2.50 each! I'm tempted to go back and get at least the Chai Tea one anyway: I've heard so much!

We'll seeeee.... maybe that will be my treat if my weigh in goes well next weekend!

Anyway, today I had an oatmeal cookie Luna Bar crumbled on about a cup of fat free yogurt. I also had some frozen papaya (on sale at the moment: well, not frozen, but its even better frozen!).. Mmmm.

I also had a bit of PB and SF-J with some almond crackers..

and of course tea!

Lunch is a chopped salad, with lemon poppyseed dressing, and an apple.

I used the rest of the avocado to make some guac.. :-D (I'll admit to having a bit this morning.. whoa I had a big breakfast! Ready to take on the day!!)

Fallen...

2009-05-24T09:26:00.002-04:00

So I'm up to 135... might be because I'm bloated (PMS today) but either way, I've fallen off the bandwagon. I'm still eating healthy, but I'm not tracking myself, I've reverted to somewhat mindless eating, and I'm not exercising half as much.

Part of the issue is I hate taking photos infront of family, or K... I just don't like the teasing by my family, or want to wierd out K. The other part is I'm a bum.

Tomorrow I want to climb back on the bandwagon with gusto.. wish me luck--honestly, I was SO happy with my body when I was down to 132, it'd be SUCH a shame, so close to it, to give it up. (It seems like nothing, but these next five pounds in my experience come off my stomach, so it goes flat, and my arms, which are my two main anxiety areas.)

early riser

2009-05-19T06:37:00.002-04:00

I woke up REALLY early today--I'm just excited to be back at work I guess! 5:25 and even after my shower my stomach was grumbling. I peeled a mango and diced it up and added yogurt for later, and ate the skin and around the pit to help tide me over right then. I cooked 3/4 cup or so of pumpkin puree with some almond milk and spices in the microwave to also help tide me over, and had a big mug of earl grey with almond milk.

at 6:30 I gave in and just had breakfast. I ate the mango and yogurt and then followed up with another 1/3 cup of yogurt and about 1/3 cup of muesli, and more tea.

I need to get back into the habit of waiting, till at least 7:30!! Ok: tomorrow!!! Hopefully this doesnt throw off my entire day!

Star Trek, Yogen Fruz, and Pumpkin Oats!

2009-05-18T18:12:00.004-04:00

This morning I woke up to a big bowl of pumpkin oats (1/2 to 3/4 cup pumpkin puree, 1/4 cup steel cut oats, 1 cup water, spices and 2tbsp or so of sugar free 'maple syrup') it wa so good I had to nuke some more pumpkin puree with almond milk, spices, and 'syrup' just to make it last longer. I also had a tbsp or two of peanut butter!

This kept me really full until lunch--I went to Milestones with my family and I had the "Garden Greens" salad, entree size. It was awesome! I also had a cup of fat free, sugar free mango-banana yogen fruz at the theatre.. that stuff is AMAZING. We watched Star Trek and it was mindblowingly awesome. I love it!

After the movie I had an early dinner--lots of veggies, baba ganoosh, and peanut butter (lots more of the peanut butter and sweet potato, not pictured. Plus some walnuts!) I also had a mango, and a few cups of plain popcorn (with some spices and salt)

I packed lunch up for tomorrow--yay back to work! I'm also excited to FINALLY be back at the gym (I'll go after work) :D :D (I made some dressing with almond milk, salt, and baba ganoosh in the little bottle there!)

She Lives...

2009-05-17T19:58:00.002-04:00

Whoa, so I'm back. Life since my last post sped along and I couldn't keep up. So I'll just update:

-I've lost weight. I'm about 131-133 at the moment! I went shopping today and I'm a size 3/4!! I'm rather happy with my body, but since for the most part I'm just eating conciously and when I'm hungry: if I continue to lose weight I wont worry unless it starts to really dip.

-I am currently 19.8% to 20% body fat.. if my scale is correct...!! SO CLOSE.

-I am back from Virginia.. it was a lot of fun but an insane amount of work.

-I love the peppermint chocolate stick lara bar. I found a ton of other flavors at the health food store at Sherway Gardens, but didn't buy them ($2.50 each..! I might break down in order to try the Chai Tea one, but that is all!)

-I had dinner on Friday at Fressen and indulged in the richest, most scrumtious vegan chocolate ganache cake. Mmm. I got a sugar high.

-I am starting a vegetable garden and spent this morning up to my knees in dirt. It was a lot of fun!

-I was going to make flambeed banana crepes for the BSI: Banana, but unfortunately I really just haven't had the time in the one day I've been back to gather the ingredients!

OK! SO since we're caught up, hopefully posting should resume to normal?

Tomorrow is Victorias day! The guy I'm seeing (hereonin to be called "K") is making a stew that is actually me-friendly (I'm impressed..) and I'll make gluten-free focaccia, and maybe some apps for him and some of his friends. Then we're all going to go see fireworks!

Thanks for hanging in there with me guys. I know I've been wretched!

Virginia!!!

2009-05-08T08:19:00.003-04:00

So we made it--after 14 hours of driving on Wednesday (I ate very little: sitting doesn't work up an appetite, so nothing to report..) we arrived in Blandy, VA.. Grocery shopping was a blast-so many products I couldn't get in Toronto.. including different flavors of Lara Bars!! I bought any ones I saw that I couldn't get in TO--Chocolate Raspberry, Iced Oatmeal Raisin, and Chocolate Peppermint Stick. I'm excited!...

Thursday started with a run outdoors (30 min)--becuase of the gravel I managed to avoid shin splints. Purely blissful! Breakfast was plain yogurt by "La Yogurt" which I found incredibly sweet despite the lack of sweetening.. on the nutrition label there is a surprising amount of sugar, but the ingredients list no sweeteners (in fact its just skim milk and bacteria..) well anyway, I had that with rolled oats, softened overnight, and almonds. I also had some hazelnut nut-thins with low fat strawberry cream cheese... mmmmm....

I got to work, and broke for lunch--a nice big salad with olives, carrots, egg whites and "Walden Farms Calorie Free Blue Cheese Dressing" to be honest its just the first lower calorie dressing I saw--I didn't realize it as zero calorie until I got home. Luckily this is MUCH better than their peanut butter (what a disaster that was) and I actually quite like it. I also had some hazelnut nut thins with strawberry cream cheese again!

After lunc we went back to work, but we took a quick break to go for a small walk... I got to wear my raincoat (It pours here twice a day!!)

Dinner was a head of broccoli, raw, and some sweet potato, again raw. The graduate student I'm working for bought natural peanut butter with honey, and lacking an unsweetened alternative I took some of that to go with my sweet potato. I used the bleu cheese dressing for my broccoli. I also had a dolmata and an olive or two (unfotographed).

Dessert was one of the Luna Bars--it was just like dessert too. I'm actually not crazy for it, but it was good at the time. I had it with a big glass of almond milk.

I finished the evening with a few fingers of wine.

This morning I went for a slightly longer run (35 min). For breakfast I had a little over half an Iced Oatmeal Raisin Luna Bar, a banana, some walnuts, and 1/3 to 1/2 a cup of yogurt.

I ended up deciding It was better mixed up and smooshed a bit, with some almond milk. Yum. Some of that honey/peanut butter would've gone really well but I had already put walnuts in and didn't want to overdo my nut intake. Maybe tomorrow!

Well, that's all for now--I'll likely post tomorrow morning, if not this evening--work leaves me POOPED.

Finally.. Summer!

2009-05-05T18:38:00.002-04:00

Whew, so FINALLY exams are done. Thank goodness!!

Yesterday was my last one.. I started with apple oats--the back one has protein powder on it: I had thought I wouldnt finish a full 1/3 cup of oats for breakfast, but I was wrong. I grated fresh nutmeg ontop of both and goodness, fresh nutmeg is SO delicious. (I hate pre-ground though!)

I packed a salad for lunch, cut carrots, an apple, goji berries and rice crisps as snacks, and potato+oyster mushroom+egg whites for dinner.. oh and yogurt with frozen strawberries!

Today was my first day of work! I started off with some plain oats and some walnuts and microwaved frozen banana tossed in. I finished the rest (I can never eat a full 1/3 cup in one go) plain jane.. and i was surprised at how tasty it was just like that!

I packed a salad with chickpeas in it, a pear, and some rice crisps with 95% low fat cream cheese.. the cream cheese made the crisps not crispy, but apart from that it was good. I could barely finish my lunch!
I got home and had a bunch of yogurt and frozen fruit, and chickpeas and tomato sauce. My mom is cooking some oyster mushrooms and green beans for dinner, so that will be nice!

Tomorrow I leave for Virginia, but I'll have my laptop so hopefully I'll manage to post here and there.

Oh, and while I dont know my weight at the moment, a sweater that has almost never fit me right fits perfect. This makes me happy!!

Also.. I am currently seeing someone. This makes me very happy too. ;)

Busy Day!

2009-05-02T07:18:00.004-04:00

And the scale says..... 134.4lbs. That's one more down, 4.4lbs to go.* (For some reason try as I might I couldnt get a fat % reading, just kept Err-ing on me.)

This morning I ate a simple breakfast of leftover rice from last night (I as so full: I ate a TON of campari tomatoes, carrots, and the rest of the baba ganoosh. Thats right I finished an entire tub in one night. I also had sauteed green beans and some onions, so needless to say I could only have some of the rice...) and some tea.

At 10 I have a workout date with a bodybuilding friend of mine. I'm getting him to do cardio (he wants to trim down) and he's helping me with weights. Should be good! We're getting brunch after but honestly, by noon it will be lunch.

I'll spend the rest of the day studying at the library and then at 7pm or so I have my second date with a certain someone. :D

I forsee a good day ahead. Gym, libraries and boys--oh my!

Amanda

*Though I'm truly, secretly, hoping for 125-128lbs, so 6.6-9.6lbs to go in a way...

Ack. 3 days without posting.. really?!

2009-05-01T18:09:00.007-04:00

I'm so sorry guys: I keep meaning to, I even have a few rough drafts saved.. the thing is I've had two exams (one which was the worst I've ever written.. and worth 50% of my final grade.. the other I did well on though..) and I've moved these past days. I'm currently exhausted (someone just called and asked for my brother. I hung up on them without a word. It took me a second to realize what I'd just done, find my brother, and get him to find out who it was..)

I just spent the past 9 hours arranging my apartment at my parents'--yes, after eight months at the sorority house, I've moved back. My parents and I love each other dearly, but we clash. (First thing my mother said when she saw me was "your eyebrows make your face look really round. In a bad way." Thanks mom. "Well its true: I wouldn't lie to you."

That being said, I'm counting on my trips to the field, my social life, the gym, this blog, and their trip to europe to keep me sane. I love the new arrangement of my room though, it was well worth the effort!

I do have photos of the past few days' worth of food. So here is another photo-log. I'm way too overwhelmed to properly touch up the photos, so you'll have to excuse them a bit: I really just want to get them up and this post up, so that I can start fresh tomorrow!

April 27th. I was in such a rush studyig I didn't have time to grate my zucchini into spaghetti for dinner, so I made them medallions instead! With past sauce and avocado.

April 28th. Spent the day at the library. Had some apple steel cut oats with pecans and the last of my cinnamon! Yummm.

Made some lentil "tabbouleh" and brought along some munchies for studying on at the library.

April 29th. Studying for the exam that I ended up doing horribly on anyway. I ate at my college dining hall for lunch and dinner. All I have to show is brekfast.
I didn't even have cinnamon. My day was just not good.

April 30th. I got up early to study for my exam today.. started with a bowl of oat bran, as I ran out of steel cuts the day before. It was goopy like the first time, but without the cinnamon it was just fine. Again there was way too much so I saved a bowl for later. I had half a grapefruit with it.

When I got hungry later I finished my grapefruit and my oats.. I decided to spread seed butter and sugarfree jam on it: closest thing to a PbNJ in oatmeal form. It was delish. I was so hungry I ended up having some puffed millet too!

Lunch was a nice big salad, and half a can of Amy's Black Bean Soup.

Did so much better on my exam today!! To celebrate afterwards I went for a walk in Kensington. Bought two whole nutmeg and enough cinnamon to fully refill my cinnamon jar for only 60 cents! I also bought a vintage purse for $15 (mine was getting REALLY ratty) and two pomelo for a dollar in chinatown. I shared one pumelo with a friend at the sorority when I got home (one of the most unlikely friends I've ever had, and one of the dearest... we bonded over pumelo). I also bought a bag of Barbeque Power Pop while I was there, for 99 cents, and was amazed at how good it is. Its gluten free, sugar free, and high protein. Yum! I wouldn't run out to stock up, but I'm glad I got to try it.

Then I went home and all by my lonesome spent the next five hours taking apart my room and packing it into my car. Got home at 11:30 and passed out (after puting the perishables away.) Before I passed out though, I found a letter for me....

Yay!!! Krista sent me two grocery gift cards as my prize for the BMI challenge. THANK YOU!!!! I do enjoy lemons, but I enjoy the fact I can buy fresh ones with these cards. It's hard to find lemon anything without a million pounds of sugar, if its pre-made!

My dad asked me about the contest so I told him about it, and mentioned that I'd been planning on doing the Pastis de Santiago for the almond entry, which is why I had been trying to find almond meal. He seemed to like that I enter these contests: my parents are convinced I'm anorexic, so anything that reaffirms to them that I eat is a good thing.

May 1st.
I woke up at 6:30am and started to sort things, unfortunately I woke my dad up and he came down bleary eyed and asked me to be quiet.. he also asked me if I ever slept. I thought about it and had to admit, I tend to sleep about four hours a night.. though usually I'll nap 1-2hours a day... I hear sleeping is good for you though, I wish I could convince my body to do more of it in one go.
I went grocery shopping for my parents instead, since I saw they were out of milk... I got back at the much more decent hour of 7:30am and took a shower and then had breakky... rice cakes; one with PbnJ (I know I'm avoiding peanut butter, but they have a maranatha jar open and no one else in my family will touch organic PB) and one with 95% fat free garlic and herb cream cheese. I also had a banana and some nuts. Mmmm. I was so full after this, strangely (you'd think oatmeal was more filling, which I'm used to?)

I got to work at my room and stopped for lunch at 11:30 or so. I tried Amy's Sheppards Pie, and had some veggies and tbsp or two of Wendy and Barb's Skinny Dips Baba Ganoosh.
Now that's quality microwave food. I'm not a fan of not preparing things myself, but on days like today when I'm really pressed for time, this is amazing.

Dessert was a few pieces of those bananas I froze last time, the 6 for 79 cents one.. wow were they AMAZING. Along with a few of those little mandarins I showed you back when, they're sooo cute.

Later I got hungry so I had liberte fat free yogurt as a snack.. I found out why its denser in calories: this thing is thick like full-fat! It was really good, especially with some frozen fruit.

I was still hungry after so I ate some more veggies and dip, and then split the second pumelo (I ate most of it) with my mom.
Finally, my room is done.. ahh.. well, here comes the summer, and I couldn't ask for a more gorgeous place to be than my parents'.

PS, tomorrow is weigh in day.

PPS: NEWS BULLETIN.

1. Diet Dessert n Dogs is having a cookbook giveaway!! Her cookbook is gluten free, dairy free, and refined sugar free. How neat is that?!

2. Food2.com is having a gift basket giveaway. What I would ever do with all that junkfood I don't know, but I agreed to mention it anyway, so here it is!

2009-04-27T13:59:00.002-04:00

Well, my date last night went so well dinner ended up being a few pieces of (wonderfully well) roasted butternut squash (from a rather miniscule salad), a few pine nuts, and half a glass of wine (and my mint tea tasted sweetened, so I only had a small cup to be polite..) Honestly, its not because I was trying to not eat--its because we were so busy talking and enjoying ourselves that I really wasn't hungry: I was too focused on the 'else'. I did realize I was hungry when I got home and drank the broth from the lentils I cooked in my slow cooker, plus had a spoonful or two of lentils, and I ate a few apple pieces as I cut up a granny smith for today's breakfast.

Today's oatmeal was DIVINE. It smelt lovely and tasted even better. I cut up a small granny smith with between 1/2 to 1/3 a cup of steel cut oats, about about 4 parts water to the oats. I cooked that on light for about 7 hours and by the end it was a lot less liquid than usual--but thats ok. It tasted like apple crumble!! Mmm. I didn't need to sweeten it at all, the apple took care of that.. I just added some flax, cinnamon, and walnuts and was good to go! After one bite I was in love. I went out and bought some pecans for tomorrow, because I feel that would taste even better, but goodness--this is YUMMY.

It was so good after my first bite I had to take another photo because I didnt know how else to convey to you my delight!

I had an impromptu snack-turn-lunch at 11:30 or so, so I didn't photograph it. I had the two remaining falafel patties, a tbsp or so of baba ganoosh, a few small clementines, and 3 bowls of puffed millet with cinnamon, and one cup of hot cocoa, plus a handful of almonds and a tsp or so of pumpkin nut butter. It was a little haphazard and random, because I was chatting with friends, but I sure am suffed full.

2009-04-26T10:18:00.005-04:00

This morning I didn't shower, but I did wait until around 8:30 for breakfast. Helps I slept in until 7:40!! Last night I went to a club, had two fingers of champagne and a sip of a friends vodka tonic. Overall I was good--everyone was impressed/confused at my self control.. I'm always like that though, there are one or two times a year I get SMASHED (Birthday... and then some random other one, maybe..) and aside from that I don't really drink. Wine with dinner yes, however.

Anyway, I started off the day with a HUGE serving of steel cut oats. I decided to give my slow cooker one more try, this time without the vanilla, cinnamon, sweetener, or anything-just 1/3c oats and 4/3c water and about 5h of simmering on low, 30 min on high. It was great: the smell that filled my room last time was indeed the cinnamon sticks I believe, which areally aren't that nice when boiled for that long. I added in 1/2 a (frozen) banana, some flax seed (about twice of what is pictured: I added some) a tablespoon of sweetener, and a few almonds and walnuts into half of it. It was geat.. man do steel cut oats EXPAND when you cook the with a slow cooker. I was hungry though and managed to eat the second half: though I'll admit the last dozen or two spoonfulls were a challenge, but for some reason I did it (that was a little silly, but I'll just have a lighter lunch.) I mixed the second bowl with cocoa powder, unsweetened coconut shreds, and a tsp of sweetener. All with unsweetened vanilla almond milk and
a cup of earl grey.

edit: for lunch I ended up eating 3-4 fallafel (it was 3, but I think one was two thin ones that were stuck together, cus I ate them without panfying them! They were delish!) a whole lotta red bell pepper with baba ganoosh, a handful of rice crackers with pumpkin seed butter, and a cup or so of yogurt, with some nuts. Oh and half a banana.

I'm going to head to the gym for a good workout, and then get ready for my evening date. :)

Here's a question: One of my housemates always asks to have some of my food: to try it. Usually I let her: I encourage her curiosity towards healthy, vegetarian foods, but lately I suppose she's been unfortunate in that she's been asking me for things I already had plans for. I don't know how to say no so I end up giving her some, though I try to make it somewhat clear with my intonation that I'm not really happy with it. It doesnt seem to curb her at all. Today I was a little upset because its the last day for the BSI challenge, and I couldn't afford the almond flour I would have needed for the recipe I wanted to do. I spent all morning seeing where I could find bulk almonds to make my own flour and ended up back at square one. I was a little miffed in general while eating lunch, so it was a bad start to the scene. When she asked me if she could try my pumpkin butter I had to reply "It's sort of expensive..." she seemed rather hurt I didn't share, and I felt bad: I realized in retrospect maybe she just wanted a taste, and not enough to spread over her sandwich (she went and got out her peanut butter to do that when I said no, but she might've anyway). I don't know... what do you think? Was I selfish? How can I make amends? :(

by my calculations this post is worth 14,000 words.

2009-04-25T18:13:00.005-04:00

Feeling tons better. Unfortunately that also means I have a ton of 'splainin to do re:food. So I'm going to be brief and make this a photo post, with lots of captions.

I love my dad for coming and getting me... there is nothing that home could do that I couldnt do myself, but something about having your parents give you a big hug and send you to bed, and knowing they're two floors up should you really need someone to rub your back while you hug the loo makes it all so much better.

Photo 1: Snack yesterday: leftover breakfast, cold and just like that. Was pretty much like custard. Only less sweet.

Photo 2: Snack afterwards: about 1/4 cup of organic nuts (actually, a bit more cus I cheated.)

Photo 3: just over 1/2lb organic strawberries

Photo 4: Still munchin... rice crisps with pumpkin nut butter and sugar free jam. Add 4 unphotographed. Or was it five.

Photo 5: Raw organic zucchini spaggetti with Neal Bothers organic pasta sauce, some of my homemade chickpeas (they're mostly hidden) and--the culprit--a sprinkle of parmesan. Seriously, this sprinkle was really really small: it was a friend being nice. This particular gift included food poisoning. Lesson learnt: parmesan=evil. Rennet-free or not.

Photo 6: Yogurt, frozen berries, and some sweetener. Pre-hurling. Most of the last two came back up, to be honest.

TODAY!!!
I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at my parents--I did the crossword, chatted with my dad, went and bought groceries, AND took a shower before breakfast (which ended up being around 9:30am) OH! And I weighed myself as I stepped out of the shower (so my hair was wet, though I towelled off well) 135.6lbs, 21.4% body fat--that's 5.6lbs to go, 2-3% body fat (Getting JUST under 20 isn't good enough because my scale will fluctuate within 4%.. I'll be satisfied the day I read 18% though.. which I concede might not be this summer.. or ever, but damn it if I wont try.)

Photo 7:My haul, for $43 (click to read what you're seeing, if you want to know, I wrote it on flickr to save space here.)

Photo 8: I got all these organic bananas for 0.79 cents. You say gross.

Photo 9: I say YUM! (I actually used the mushed one, just cut off the really bad parts, especially what had been exposed.

Photo 10: Cut up and ready for the freezer--to be used however I want: as an ultra sweet snack, with nut butter or chocolate, melted into oats, baked, you name it I got it! After 2 hrs or so I transfer them into a ziplock freezer bag for storage, this just keeps them from being one big clump!

I had half of the olives, a dozen or so honey mandarins, a rice cake, some organic peanut butter (my parents had no other nut butter! I know its not anti-candida, but I'm trying) and some of the orange marmalade for breakfast. Oh, and some yogurt, nuts, goji berries, and pomegranate seeds. Yum!

Photo 11: Look how small the honey mandarins are!! awwwwwww! I ate one with the skin and its so thin its fine, but I rather it off. Its kinda nice how labor intensive they are, means its hard to overeat, haha. The mini pieces are sooooo cuuuuute. Lol.

Photo 12: And the yogurt.

Photo 13: Took some of these from my mom (traded it for 1/2 the box of mandarins--literally transported it in the box, so volume for volume!) These will be awesome for soup and cooking rice, which I never really did before gluten-free to be honest... But I'm also eating a lot better in general now, like more stuff from scratch than most of the year, so yes.

Photo 14: Finally. Dinner.

I made baked falafel with what's left of my chickpeas (recipe at end) I spooned out 3 tbsp or so of the baba ganoosh (15cal/tbsp!), served 1/4 avocado mashed with lemon and red pepper flakes, and a single rice crisp, a bunch of cut up veg, and what was left of the olives. Delish. That with some carbonated water--I need SOMETHING to sub for my diet colas.

Oven Baked Falafel
makes 8-12. I made 10: each about 60Cal: 1g Fat, 0g Sugar, 2g Fiber, 3g Protein

2 c. chickpeas, cooked or from a can
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
3/4 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp tahini
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
juice of 1/4 lemon (about 1 tbsp)
salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease tray.
pulse chickpeas, or mush them by hand, coarsely.
add in cilantro, onion, garlic, tahini, cumin, coriander, salt, pepper and baking powder and mix well.
add in the lemon and mix well.

roll into circles, ping-pong ball sized give or take, and lay out on tray. Flatten with your fingers, avoiding having them be too cracked, and bake for 20 minutes or so.. flipping half way.

I dry fried the ones I was right about to eat to just brown them. They weren't the crispy deep-fried falafel you're used to, but they sure were amazing. Mmm.

Food Poisoning

2009-04-24T21:47:00.002-04:00

I was going to post a bunch of yummy healthy eats etc. But I have really bad food poisoning. Like wake up thinking your world is upsidedown, miss the gym type bad. My parents believed in letting me cry it out when I had nightmares as a kid, in order to toughen up... my dad is on his way to come get me. That's how bad.

Blog tomorrow.

x

Self Reflection: What I've found Works, and My Ideas as to Why

2009-04-24T09:33:00.001-04:00

Here's some trends I found:

1. Setting the tone: morning repause. For me its the shower that makes me wait for breakfast: it's awesome because it sets the tone for my day. If you're the sort that can sit patiently and wait without having to do something, I highly recommend it.. if not: meditate, shower, do the crossword--anything to make your body wait until you're ready to feed it. And then nourish it, well. The point is not to deprave yourself but to set the tone for the day. You are boss. You will eat when you want to eat. Your body can and will wait and it will be worth it because you will treat it well, and you will nourish it, but you won't let it take control. It also lets me more accurately gage how hungry I am... cus at 6am I'm kinda groggy and just let my body go on autopilot when I eat.. which can easily mean 600-1000 calories in one go.

2. Exercise. Increased endorphins, boosted metabolism, a feeling of satisfaction, self-worth, toning and again: control. I told you to jog for 20 minutes so you will jog for 20 minutes, body. Again; not about abusing your body, but about working with it. Coaxing it into doing what you know is good for it. Sometimes it will be happy to go, and sometimes it will be cranky. You need to listen to it as you would listen to anyone you need to care for--but in the end you're in control. Maybe your body really can't do the run today.. ok, we'll speed walk 15 minutes, do some muscle work, and call it a day. It's ok body, you tried. It works the other way too--maybe your body wants to run for two hour straight, but you know if you did that you'd be out for a day or two and would rather not. Who'se in control here?

3. Pep talk and the mirror: avoiding the scale. The days when I look in the mirror and tell myself "you my love are hot." and avoid that scale the way I should--those are the days I do best. Those are the days I don't feel like I need to punish myself but reward myself. I control my diet, I don't overeat, and I nourish my body and I feel like a goddess. I feel like I've got it, and I'm rewarding my body for how well it functions, for how much I love it, by giving it good healthy (tasty) food and the exercise, love and attention it needs. Love is not about SPOILING--you don't give your child endless fudgsicles becuase you love them, you give them organic produce and healthy foods because you want them to be as healthy and happy as possible. You deserve the same.

Crock Pot Oats

2009-04-24T08:54:00.004-04:00

So this morning I woke up to steel cut oats and oat bran cooking away in my room. Honestly, rather than smell enticing, it was kind of.. strange? Last night I put 1/4c. steel cut oats, 1/4c. oat bran and about 2-3 cups of water, plus a few tablespoons of erithyrol (before I decided I wanted to cut down on it), and half a stick of cinnamon and a drop of vanilla. I turned it on low and left it alone--to cook on low from about midnight last night to about 7:30am this morning, and then to be on "warm" until 8:30am (yes, ME, i waited until 8:30am. That's insane.)

While I was waiting for breakfast time I took a shower, blowdried my hair, took down some laundry from my room and put it in the wash and then folded my laundry that was hanging (yay avoiding the drying machine!) I then went and cleaned the kitchen.

Let me take a moment to talk about this kitchen. With 12 girls living here permanently, and another 18 who have the key to the house and use it as a home away from home, it gets absolutely filthy. The worst are the out of house girls to be honest--they make messes and go home to mom and dad and just leave them for us. They don't mean to--they just dont SEE it. I realized when I moved out how often I did that at home pre-independence. I had always thought my parents were insane when they complained about my mess--turns out they were RIGHT. You just don't realize how annoying it is to want to use a pan but someone else left it to "clean up later" until you move out. That being said, there are a handful of girls who live in this house that are 20 to 24 year old children. Sigh.

Anyway, this house has house chores that rotate once a week. The kitchen gets done twice a week: Thursdy by midnight and Sunday by midnight, the rest (bathrooms, hallways, living room, basement, garbage) get done once a week. If you dont do it on time, someone else can do it for you and you owe them $10. I have done the kitchen virtually every Thursday and Sunday... because I love having a clean kitchen. I also enjoy doing the 2nd floor bathroom (the floor I live on) for similar reasons. The only time I dont do it is if somoene did it on time, which usually only happens if I got exasperated on Tuesday or Wednesday and did everyone's dishes just to get to the sink. Lately I've been doing them almost daily, sometimes twice daily--a certain 24 year old has been especially proliferous at using copious amounts of dishes. I guess the last thing I want to say about this is that last Thursday, when I did the kitchen? Turns out my roommate had gotten a one day extension that I didn't see. She FLIPPED OUT ON ME, and rather than just *talk* to me, which heavens forbid she grace me with her voice, she wrote it like a madwoman all over the chore list. I had to reply "oh wow. Sorry didn't see that. No need to be upset; happy birthday your chore is done." I recieved no reply after that. But she's gone. Deep breaths.

As for my oatmeal, which I was promised would me creamy and lovely from being slow cooked like that... Oh, it was creamy alright--it was a thick rich cream and it was about 2-3 cups worth of it!

I couldn't finish it at all, I had to put almost half of it in the fridge!

It's still today?

2009-04-23T23:42:00.003-04:00

Wow.. I'm exhausted. I read over my blog from day one just now (inspired by a comment by Hillary on my first post, that made me realize that even under two weeks I've deviated from my plans--reading through my own posts helped me reflect so much on what works, what doesn't: what makes me feel GOOD and what makes me feel like crap. What triggers good days and what triggers out of control-ness.)

I'll write my findings tomorrow morning perhaps? I'm exhausted and I need to sleep. I spent the day cleaning up my room (decided that one week or not, it was inappropriate fo me to be living in a room that looked like an empty storage area--my ex-roommate was kind enough to leave me a monster garbage back full of.. garbage, I'd assume, and tons of little garbage pieces all over the floor (you know, broken cardboard pieces, paper, nail clippings, that sort of lot.) I was at first just going to spot vacuum so I grabbed the little handheld dirt buster from the hallway's closet, and ended up doing my entire room and then dusting everything as well (14' by 16'? Not sure, but its big--it was roomy even with two living here) I then rearranged my furniture and so forth. Oh how lovely. I can type and work at my computer, fully open my windows, do yoga, my hair, makeup, crockpot.. I know I mentioned this before but I suppose when its all neat and clean its like doing it at a higher LEVEL.

I then packed up my car (my dad drove it downtown today, for me) with all the stuff I wont really need in the next week.

I had a snack of a few rice thins with avocado and pumpkin seed butter (an interesting, but good combo).

When the chickpeas were done they were a creamy DELIGHT. Oh, I couldnt help it--I had to have a cup right then and there, with a squeeze of lemon and a bit of tahini. Oh my goodness. My dad will be happy when I make these for him--chickpeas are a family love (the town we're from only knows of three beans essentially; chickpeas, canelinni, and lentils.. so we care a LOT about them.)

I decided to have a somewhat early lunch, at around 11:40, since I couldn't resist the chickpeas. I cut up a nice salad and drizzled it with a dressing made with a tad of pumpkin nut butter, some lemon, some balsamic vinegar, and some spices, salt, and pepper. It wasn't a bad dressing, though maybe a little too simple for me. I remembered late that vinegar is a no for the anti-candida thing. Again; not sure how closely I'm going to follow that for now. I think eliminating sucrose, added sugars, and gluten is a good start for now. Taking things step by step isn't a bad thing!

For dessert I cut up 1/2 lb of strawberries, and whipped up a chocolate dip for them--a tsp or two of protein powder, a few tsp of cocoa powder, some sweetener, and some water. It was delicious!!!!!! Mmmmm.

While my lunch was so nice and healthy, for some reason I ended up binging 'dinner' at four... my afternoon spiralled down from there to be honest. I drove my stuff to my parents and ended up eating maybe a pound of strawberries.. all the time I had quite a headache. I realized at one point today I'd used an awful lot of this erythritol sweetener.. pure sugar gives me headaches like this, and it would seem erythritol is no better. I'll use it in extreme moderation from here on in, and in any baking I may do (with alternative flours of course, which Ricki has just told me her upcoming book; Sweet Freedom, features!!)

I did at least go to the gym, and while my body was screaming "no, just let me go comatose" I coaxed it into doing the usual 40 minutes (I broke it into four tens) and am glad I did.. tomorrow will be a better day.

Now, off to set my crockpot for tomorrow's breakfast--steel cut oats. Tomorrow my dad is taking me to Fresh for lunch again

I still have that headache. :(

8 Things Meme

2009-04-23T07:29:00.010-04:00

Well yesterday my crockpot dinner was only slightly upset by a thoughtful housemate turning off my appliance I must have accidentally left on. Sigh. My roommate moved out yesterday so that means I get my own room! You'll notice my photos are now in my room and not in the dining room--I didn't feel comfortable being in the room with her. (She made it VERY clear she didn't like me.)

Not only is everything spread out, my windows can now fully open, I can study and eat in my room, my yoga mat is spread on the floor, and I can crockpot in here too!! Too bad I need to be out by May 1st so it wont last super long. I am moving to the basement apartment at my parents though, so that's nice too. This just gets the added bonus of no parents coming and nagging. ;)

Anyway, yesterday was super clean. I went grocery shopping with my mum at The Big Carrot; a Toronto healthfood store, and Vanilla was on sale (yay!) as was.. almost anything else I bought. Here's my haul, minus a sweet potato hiding at the bottom of my napsack. Wierd though; they didn't have Stevia. My options were Xylitol and Erythritol. Both sugar alcohols, so not ok for anti-candida, but for my purposes (natural, sugar free) I'm ok. I bought the Erythritol based one, which isn't as sweet as sugar and its noticable, but I don't mind. I bought pumpkin seed butter because not only is it significantly higher protein than most, but the cashew butter I believe could be the source of this nasal congestion I've been having. I'll finish it up, but I think I'm done with cashew butter for a bit. Maranatha Natural raw almond butter was on sale (3.50ish instead of 6ish!) but I don't like regular almond butter (boohiss.. sorry.) and was afraid to waste that much almond butter should I not like the raw version.

I had dinner as planned and later in the evening as a snack I had a piece or two of sweet potato my friend made, some rice crackers with pumpkin butter and cashew butter, and about a dozen grapes and two strawberries... oh and some Hot Chocolate! I'm keeping fruit intake low to cut down on sugar, but I'm not eliminating it since I don't know if I even believe I have a candida "issue." I elimited Splenda from my diet though. None with my tea, none with my muesli, none with my hot chocolate, no diet soda. *Proud*

This morning I had between 1/2 and 3/4 cup muesli (all that was left in the bag, since I got it from the bulk bin at Noah's), four grapes sliced up to sweeten it, some ground sprouted flax seed, and some Earl Grey tea with almond milk. mmm.

Oh and the chickpeas I cooked overnight look lovely and I tried one and its so much creamier than any I've ever cooked from dry before. Going to leave it on for a few more hours just to really get it tender!

Here's a meme I found online, I rather like it!

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To:
1. Field work
2. Travelling with work
3. Visiting my grandparents in September
4. Visiting California in November
5. Having my own room in my own place, in September.
6. Summer fun
7. Summer FOOD :D
8. Graduate School!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Ate 100% vegan, nearly 100% gluten-free (my muesli might have been processed in such a way that there would be traces.), controlled yummy, yummy portions.
2. Bought a crockpot for $10!
3. Met up with a very nice boy for coffee
4. Got asked out by said boy. (said ok!)
5. Started to learn how to cook with a crockpot.
6. Bought a sleeping bag for the field
7. Bought groceries at The Big Carrot with my mum!
8. Hung out with Shannon and agreed to make falafel today.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Digest soy!!! (I’m not upset about the dairy really.)
2. Speak Mandarin and/or Cantonese (my mum does… I wish I had learnt!)
3. Have people actually understand why eating meat is so bad.
4. Find a way to feed the world. And educate the world. And love the world.
5. Scuba dive. (Certified, its just been a long time!)
6. Run outdoors without getting shin splints!
7. Eat nonstop and look like Jessica Alba. (Anybody? No? Damn.)
8. Research for the rest of my life (working on it!)

8 Shows I Watch: (I don’t watch ANY regularily, but these are ones I have watched and would care to catch up on or watch a ton of!)
1. Battle Star Galactica
2. Star Trek
3. Iron Chef America
4. Ugly Betty
5. Top Chef
6. Friends
7. Undergrads
8. Fashion Runway Canada

8 People I’m Tagging:
1. Kath, from Kath Eats Real Food
2. Ruth, from Plentiful Plants
3. Krista, from Krista's Kravings
4. Hillary, from Healthy Girl Cooking
5. Ricki, from Diet Dessert n Dogs
6. Celine, from Have Cake Will Travel
7. Katie, from Chocolate Covered Katie
8. Hannah, from Bittersweet

The Healthy Eating Begins

2009-04-22T12:50:00.004-04:00

This morning rather than toast and margarine, or anything of the like, I had 1/2 cup unsweetened organic muesli (Stephano's Bakery) and almond milk. I also had about 2 tsp of cashew butter and 1-2 tsp of flax seed. So full--it put me right back to sleep till 10am!!! (That's RIDICULOUS for me. That means I slept about 2-6 and then 8-10... so six hours. This makes me happy!)

I quickly got ready and ran to the gym. Not to work out though--to buy my very own crockpot!! Someone who works in the same building as the U of T gym I go to had listed a 1.4L crockpot on craigslist for $10. Brand spanking new! It was a gift from her sister, but her boyfriend had a big one and she moved in with him right after she got the gift. Works for me!!

This is perfect, I'll be able to cook steel cut oats overnight, and.. other.. food. Well its the right size, so yeah yeah!

I sauteed a few cloves of garlic and two onions in olive oil and mixed it with frozen corn, frozen broccoli, very well rinsed canned chickpeas, and some organic roasted garlic pasta sauce (zero sugar! Just organic goodness. Honestly this is my favourite pasta sauce, it just happens to be healthy.)

I left it to sit, and am excited for dinner. For lunch I just had what was left of the pasta sauce and chickpeas (about a cup of each) mixed up and wolfed down. Along with about 2 tbsp of guacamole from last night. I'm STUFFED. But I feel great. :)

HAPPY EARTH DAY BY THE WAY!!

Out with the old and in with the new...

2009-04-22T00:46:00.004-04:00

I just threw out the last few pieces of bread I had, what was left of my muffins and scones. The carrot bread I'll save for my little brother; he'll like it. I'm throwing out my margarine too. While this sounds wasteful, for what its worth I found two perfectly good avocados in the organics bin while throwing that stuff out and rescued them (I live in a house of 12, if I havent mentioned, and people are *really* wasteful) and made guacamole--at least I'll have something to spread instead of margarine!

But yes, the why: all this talk of eating well but honestly, what am I doing? I'm eating more carbs than ever, whole wheat or not, slathering on margarine, so on and so forth.

I need to eat more veggies. I want to moderate my sugar intake (though I will still eat fruit: I considered the anti-candida diet but I'm aiming for overall health more than simply anti-candida..) I want to avoid anything rather processed, including splenda. (Yes Amanda, you have to give up Splenda.) I have some left which I'll use sparingly (no more than one packet a day Amanda, do you hear me?!) and I will not buy more this summer. Do you hear me?! No more. (Gulp. It's my crutch and I know it..) Diet cola is going with that.

I need to eat more beans; so long as my body will allow it (I also don't know if I mentioned: soy is something my body will only accept in extreme moderation, beans aren't as bad but they too need monitorig). I need to watch my gluten intake (though again: I don't need to eliminate it; while I'll avoid wheat and seitan, I'll still eat oatmeal.)

The earth gives us so much, let's see if I can appreciate it.. and what better time than in the summer, when nature is virtually throwing it at me.

It's just 10 weeks or so. Get over it!

Wish me luck. ;_;

(Note: I write avoid for most. I'm not allergic to any of these things and so if once in a while I have a treat I'll live. But I need to start viewing it as a treat, and stop viewing it as a staple.)

edit: I hated how waseful I was being, and then decided instead to donate my food to the house rather than just toss it. At least now it has a chance to be consumed.

Carrot Loaf

2009-04-21T10:11:00.007-04:00

I've been really upset at the fact the only carrot bread recipes I can find are for carrot CAKE, just in a loaf form. The amount of carrot is always rather sad and I just felt it wasn't enough: why couldn't we just sub carrot for the other liquids, like we do in banana bread?! I realized then it has a lot to do with the fact grated carrot is nothing like banana puree... but what about carrot puree? I steamed 3 large carrots for 25 minutes till they were nice and soft and blended them in a blender with some of the liquid left in the pot.

I then decided to come up with a recipe for carrot bread. It's still sweet the way banana bread would be, but its distinctively NOT cake. If you had told me even a year ago that I'd be baking this much, and coming up with all of the recipes myself, I would have laughed very very hard.

Carrot Loaf
makes 8-10 slices. For 8 (thick slices) is approximately 135 Calories, 4g Fat, 22g Carbs, 230mg sodium, 2g Sugar*, 2.5g Fiber, 4.5g Protein.

INGREDIENTS:
wet:
1 1/2 cup carrot puree
1/4 cup liquid egg white
2 tbsp cashew butter**
1 tbsp oil***
1 tsp pure lemon juice

dry:
3/4 cup w.w. flour
3/4 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 cup sweetener*
1/2 cup grated carrot (squeeze out excess moisture with hands)

spices:
1/2 tsp powdered ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp allspice

INSTRUCTIONS:
Grease a loaf pan and preheat the oven to 350*F

Mix the wet ingredients without the grated carrot.

Mix/sift the dry ingredients in a seperate bowl with the spices.

Mix the dry into the wet until fully incorporated, fold in the grated carrot quickly and pour into loaf pan, put in oven and bake for 50 minutes until toothpick comes out dry.

Let cool completely before removing from the pan.

*Assuming zero-calorie sweetener.
**You can sub with any other nut butter or 1 tbsp oil. Calories will not change but fat/sugar/protein might.
***I recommend rapeseed (canola) or soybean oil for health reasons. Refined coconut oil would taste lovely, just make sure to avoid semi-refined for baking.

While baking I had the cantaloupe, two small pieces of rye with cashew butter, and the batter left on the spatula. Once it was ready I couldn't resist and had an early-ish lunch at 11:15am.. I had two slices, one with margarine and one with cashew butter. Yummm. I had some lovely "harmony" tea, which is a fruity green tea blend (Toronto has a lot of tea shops) to accompany it.

Early Riser: BSI News!

2009-04-21T08:20:00.002-04:00

This morning I got up rather early... I cleaned my stuff out of the dresser my roommate and I shared, as she's moving on Wednesday, and organized it a little bit--though I'm moving soon too.

I went downstairs and put steel-cut oats on the boil. 1/4 cup steel cut oats, about 1/4 cup raisins, 1 stick of cinnamon and a few drops of vanilla.. I also stirred in/snacked on about a tablespoon of cashew butter. While waiting for it to cook, as it takes a good while, I cut up another canteloupe ($1.80 and oh so delicious, I couldn't refuse..) and had the skins again, and a little bit to snack on. I drank two cups of Earl Grey while waiting for my oats. Finally, they were ready (at 7am):

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. My Sinless Lemon Granita won this week's BSI Challenge!!! I'm so excited, pleased, and flattered. This week's BSI Challenge is hosted by To Be the Whole Package and the secret ingredient is ALMONDS! At first I wasn't sure what to do, but then I remembered just how diverse an ingredient almonds are in Spain, and it came to me. You'll have to wait and see what I make, but this one's going to hit close to home. I hope I make my family proud. ;)

Pulled Pork?!

2009-04-20T17:52:00.002-04:00

No silly! It's pulled jackfruit! And gosh how stupid I was to not make this sooner.

This was my dinner--I had the first half of the cantaloupe for a snack. (I also had some frozen SUUUPER ripe banana and a little less than a tsp of cashew nut butter after, mmm... buying bananas that are sold on clearance for being too ripe and freezing them is divine. And cashew nut butter is yummy!)

Jackfruit is amazing. This tasted so good--very spicy though! (I made the BBQ sauce myself! Just vinegar, spices, hickory flavouring and some ketchup) It's

Pulled Jackfruit Sandwich Filling
makes two small sandwiches, or one larger one. calories will depent on your sauce, but an entire can of jackfruit itself is 80Cal.
1 can young green jackfruit in WATER** (I bought Chaokoh brand)
1/2 cup BBQ sauce; homemade, storebought, you name it.

Drain the jackfruit, rinse if you like.
Cook near your lowest setting for an hour, stirring occasionally, until sauce is absorbed/evaporated for the most part.
Let it sit for at least an hour, refridgerate if leaving for longer... most find that jackfruit has an acidic taste but this seems to get rid of it.

When you're making your sandwich, nuke it or heat it on the stovetop while toasting your buns/bread and condimenting them up. Compile and serve. Yummm.
**NOT syrup!!

Much Better!

2009-04-20T14:43:00.002-04:00

Today was shower-in-the-morning, eat-appropriate-portions, meet-my-dad-for-lunch, buy-real-nut-butter-for-a-steal, good. :D Despite the rain.

As you can read, I took a shower before eating breakfast at 7am.. I just had a scone and a muffin (working through them) and the skins of a cantaloupe plus a bit that couldn't fit in the tupperware. That with some tea and almond milk made for a satisfying breakfast. (I snuck in a few raisins while waiting for the water to boil too, to be honest ;))

Around 12:45 I went with my dad to Fresh, which is just around the corner from me. I got their simple salad and added grilled sweet potato and heart of palm--which I hadn't had since Costa Rica. My dad had the soup and salad and let me try his soup (East African sweet potato and yellow split pea) and have a quarter of his pita with some hummus. It was delicious. I was a little hungry while I was sitting there, but made a note that I would have a snack when I got home, of some fruit or something. Luckily as I got up and walked nextdoor to the health food store my hunger subsided and I just became satisfied. Best feeling ever. I used to eat like that, till I was just a bit hungry, knowing that the moment I walked a bit I'd be fine. Need to get back to doing that!

I had brought my glass jar and bought some organic cashew butter in bulk. SIXTY ONE CENTS. Seriously!!! I'd never tried cashew butter before because a small itty bitty jar of it is like, 8 dollars... this is organic, at least locally ground (though I seriously doubt the cashews are local :P), and just as good. Perfect! Mmmm. I tried a bit with my finger when I was putting it away--so much better than that calorie free crap. Nut butter is nut butter: just eat it for what it is and don't try to get around it.

It was pouring out though, and I got soaked on my way home. Then I realized the tea I'd bought on sale hadn't been discounted on my receipt, so back I trudged to get my $2 (for tea? worth it. Besides I live around the corner..)

Soaked:

OH! And someone on craigslist is selling me a slowcooker for $10. :D Very excited.

What a gross feeling.

2009-04-19T21:37:00.002-04:00

You know what? Days without exercise and a shower in the morning suck.

I overate breakfast and lunch because of my lack of shower, and I lacked a shower because I didnt go to the gym, and I didn't go to the gym because of stupid shin splints I've had for a few days. *mutter*

But here's what I had for lunch (it was delicious):

egg white sandwich with tomato and mayo. Cooking egg whites for sandwiches is so easy, just pour some liquid white into a cup, microwave for a minute, and bam! I slice them so that they're even heights (and therefore eat a bit right hten and there) and there you go!

I wont describe everything I ate because I didn't keep track. It was a miserable day and I overeate, I promise.

Oh, and I went to get peanut butter and this caught my eye: calorie free, vegan, so on and so forth... It was four dollars so I thought hmmmm!... more like bleeeh. What a waste of money: maybe mixed well into something it'd be good but as a spread, I'd rather my bread plain. Really curbs your appetite though! (At least that?)

BSI Challenge: When Life Gives you Lemons...

2009-04-19T09:50:00.002-04:00

I am excited to announce I have joined the Blogger Secret Ingredient Challenge! I was looking for something exactly like this and happened to see it on Krista's blog (or was it Ruth's?)

Either way, I jumped right on the bandwagon with this week's challenge: Lemons!

First I made High Protein, Low-Fat Lemon Scones. They unfortunately were chewier than I'd hoped, but wonderfully lemony and almost like a flat muffin treat. I will definately work on the recipe to make it less moist and chewy.

I then decided to up my entry by adding Sinless Lemon Granita.

(Photographed was my breakfast, well.. two scones.. and my midmorning snack was two small pieces of dark rye, an egg white, a bowl of natural popcorn, and an apple.)

High Protein, Low-Fat Lemon Scones:

six scones, each approximately 115Cal, 9g protein; 1g fat)
No recipe yet, as I want to tweak it, but ingredients are: whole wheat flour, fat free yogurt, vegetarian protein powder, zero-calorie sweetener, baking powder, baking soda, liquid egg white, lemon zest.

Sinless Lemon Granita (served with fresh strawberries):

this one is too easy, fast, and to taste for true measurements. I'll tell you how I did it but feel free to make more or less, sweeter or not as you like!

1.5 peeled, quartered, and frozen lemons
2 tbsp non-calorie sweetener
1/8 c. liquid (lemonade would of course work lovely here)
optional: frozen blueberries would add a wonderful flavor!
optional: fresh fruit, such as strawberries

In a blender blend the lemons and sweetener. You'll need to stop and move things from the side. Add some liquid as needed to make the right texture. Serve immediately. Especially good with fresh fruit, to take some of the bite off!

Today is going to be a good day--I have a super easy mini-recipe for lunch too, so stay tuned!

mmm the day just keeps goin'

2009-04-18T17:19:00.003-04:00

I was so productive today at the library--I really feel like I actually learned a lot. Around 4 I got really hungry though and went to the health food store and picked up some peanuts and 3 pitted prunes. I ate the prunes on my way home and then cut up the other 1/2 lb of strawberries, spoonedout a bit over a cup of plain yogurt and a handful of peanuts (about double what you see in the photo.. I got seconds). I finished that off with a kashi bar to make it an early dinner.

Mmm.

And this is me, trying to take a photo with it cus I thought my outfit was cute, and my head got cutoff. Strange I'm putting this up? Yes. Except it makes me look curvy and I like that: sort of reminds me "guess what, if you dont lose weight tomorrow it doesnt matter, you still look damn good." You'd think that's counterintuitive but the thing is, I get so nervous about losing weight when I'm on a diet I sabotage myself (thus the no weighing more than once a week rule..) and I sort of want to just shake myself and say "don't freak out, you're OKAY."

So here's my shake.

PS You can really tell I use my legs a lot in this one... lol..

Today is looking delicious

2009-04-18T08:16:00.004-04:00

So this morning I started off my day with a parfait I made last night. It has 0% plain yogurt, quick oats, frozen berries, maple syrup, more yogurt, and flax seeds. This morning I topped it with a strawberry. Overnight the berries had thawed and moistened the oats so they were wonderfully chewy.. It was an amazing treat. I was still hungry afterwards so I got anther bit of yogurt, added some flax seed (I got new flax seed! Its so wonderfully nutty and NOT rancid.. it says it doesn't need refrigeration?? Works for me..)

I also cut up 1/2lb of strawberries (on sale for 1.66 per lb!) and ate that happily with some tea.

I already have my lunch ready, I packed it last night; a salad of baby spinach, diced tomatoes (sitting in fat free sundried tomato salad dressing) and cut up carrots (I made a carrot dip by mixing some of the fat free dressing with fat free mayo--delish.) I also made a sandwich with rye, spinach, tomato, mayo, mustard, and a chickpea spread--in retrospect I should have used one of the million recipes for mock tuna salad, but I came close I suppose. Chickpea, mayo, lemon, cumin, garlic.. That with a grapefruit: in all I'm excited for lunch!

Better!

2009-04-17T23:07:00.002-04:00

After heading to the library, I was pretty hungry around four and bought a twelve grain bagel with light cream cheese from Tim Hortons' for dinner. Not the most nutritious but I had to study!

After I went home and on my way ran into a friend--he gave me five minutes to get my running gear on and head out for the first outdoor run of the season for both of us. It was amazing.. we left at 7:06 and, minus a 5 to ten minute breaad when he had to buy water and then another small one when he got a bad thigh cramp and said his goodbyes, I ran until 7:55pm. I began my run back but by 8pm or so I noticed my hip and shin were both really aching on my right. I ended up speed walking the rest back and made it home by 8:45pm or so. (We'd taken a long route running)

I ate a cherry chocolate kashi bar as a post run snack and then went to make my lunch for tomorrow (no more pseudo-healthy bagels and cream cheese for me..) I also made something special for breakfast tomorrow (stay tuned for photos of both) and meanwhile had half a cup or so of chickpeas, a few spinach leaves, a carrot stick or two, and a few spoonfuls of plain fat free yogurt.

My body is exhausted, but I'm going to stay up and study a tad more (my mind isn't as tired at least).

x

Amanda

Emotional Eating

2009-04-17T12:43:00.002-04:00

I'm doooing it agaaaain...

So lunch wasn't bad, I had what little was left of the acorn squash (turns out I didnt finish it), some broccoli, and some corn kernels. I then had a SOL soy patty cus I'm feeling mopey and don't care what that soy may do to me. (It was in my freezer and needs to go..). I also had an orange and a cup of cocoa, and cleaned the kitchen.

About an hour later, not even really hungry, I made a big bowl (4 c.) of popcorn with splenda, nooch, and spices. 100% emotional eating. So I'm gonna shower, grab my gym stuff and books, head to the library and then hit the gym. Gotta keep myself from the pantry.

ate SO much

2009-04-17T09:47:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I ended up eating way too much.. though I promise I was hungry for all of it, but I know I ruined my diet.

Then my friend and I found a little italian vegetarian restaurant on our walk. We were in the process of looking for a late lunch so it worked well!

They had only vegan and vegetarian foods and the workers there were charming and the chef spoke with a thick italian accent.

It was so har to pick what to eat, they even had risotto pie and sweet potato pie...

In the end we each had a vegan stuffed pepper. It was amazing!

My friend took a photo of me but was really careless about how it came out.. which is a shame because I had to take around 5 of her to get a good one. But oh well, I trusted her and thus did not know it was a thick shade of yellow and badly contrasted until I got home. I fixed it up best I could.

Later I had two egg whites and the rest of the acorn squash, as well as a peanut butter and white chocolate cookie. At the get together I had SO many multigrain tostitos, piles of homemade guacamole, tons of homemade hummus, and a taste of the tostitos dip. Yeah, I ate a lot. And I was still hungry! I split a Well bar with my friend afterwards!

Around sorority girls.. homemade guac doesnt stand a chance. We love to eat!

This morning I was even worse because I couldnt resist temptation and I stepped on my friends scale, I know hers is off but I think its telling me I'm back to my starting weight from the beginning of the week. Oh well... I do have months!

It is so destructive to step on that scale though, I was somewhat upset and overate at breakfast too.. I had a grapefruit and lemonzest luna bar, and then two muffins with margarine and a tablespoon or two of peanut butter...

I've calmed myself down and kicked myself a bit for panicking. I am fine. I am doing well overall. I have a lot of time, and so long as I am healthy and active my body will be fine.

On a more positive note: I found out my lab is sending me to Virginia from the 6th to the 15th. Not only will the road trip be fun, but I get to cook for myself there and collect data in the field and stay at a gorgeous field house and maybe see the capital. In all I'm really excited! I will be buying my own groceries so if there's somewhere I really should beg the driver to stop, let me know. We'll be staying around Winchester, VA (http://www.virginia.edu/blandy/ to be exact) so the less off the route the better.

Thanks!

Thursday

2009-04-16T09:14:00.007-04:00

Finished off my all-bran flakes, two bowls of it, with almond milk.. I had two yogurts and some ground flax which I finally admitted tasted off. After checking the expirey date and reading Sept 2008 (though it was in my mothers' freezer until about 3 weeks ago when I put it in my fridge) I tossed as much as I could, though I still ate some. I also darjeeling tea.

As a mid-morning snack I had Primal Strips Thai Peanut setain.

As I was cooking acorn squash and broccoli, just to have it cooked (so I'll actually eat it) I made hummus for a little get togehther I'm having later and scraped what was left in the blender with some broccoli I left uncooked as a second mid-morning snack. Mmm.. so creamy. I make it without oil, but with a healthy dose of tahini.. and in a blender.. I lurve mah hummus.

I had a bit more than half of the roasted acorn squash right out of the oven (sorry no photos!) and a piece of the broccoli before i put it all in tupperwear. I finished off lunch with a small individual piece of 70% Cote D'Or chocolate, and went to take a nap.

Green Food Day

2009-04-15T08:12:00.014-04:00

This morning I had a grapefruit and a bowl of all-bran. This shower first thing is great: I always wake up ravenous, and my stomach whines in the shower itself, but by breakfast I'm near neutral. I ate only because I knew if I didn't eat I'd later regret it. I also had some black tea.. in the Dad mug. (Maybe I should explain the Dad mug.. it's a mug that holds about 2 cups of liquid which is perfect for me, because one cup of tea seems rather measly.)

I packed up my lunch, had a yogurt and another half bowl more of cereal and hit the road!

My study buddy was 3 and a bit hours late... which was interesting.. but while I was at the library I found out April 15th is Green Food Day! Well, I did well with the Spinach... Oh, and my friend gave me a piece of fair trade organic espresso chocolate.. cocoa camino maybe?

I was ravenous by 3 and had a protein smoothie made with a small banana, some berries, water and a splash of almond milk, sucralose and half a scoop of "interactive complete vegetarian" protein powder. I then gave in and decided to have a really early dinner and then later just have a small snack after the gym. I had two muffins, nuked and toasted with some margarine, some natural (brown bag and bulk kernels) popcorn with some spices and salt and stevia sprinkled ontop, and two source yogurts. After that I was truly full and came upstairs to post this and take a nap.. which by the looks of it wont happen as I need to head to the gym soon if I want to make it to my friends' by 8:30!

C'est la vie! So far so good though, I feel.

PS Check out Hannah's Odwalla Bar Giveaway over at Hannah Eats Finkleberries... time's a ticking and the contest will only be open for a little longer!
PPS Check out Peanut Butter and Juli's Perfect Food Bar giveaway! http://peanutbutterandjuli.wordpress.com/

Edit: I had a late snack of a granny smith apple and a handful of hazelnuts.

Lethargy

2009-04-14T11:55:00.011-04:00

I had a snack of yogurt and a tablespoon or two of sunflower seeds and goji berries..

I had an early lunch so that I could spend the afternoon at the library. I bought a cape seed bun from COBS and filled it with egg salad made with 3 egg whites and just under half an egg yolk, from the easter eggs I still had in the fridge. I added a little bit of pink salt and pepper, as well as fat free mayo, and it tasted so nice! My salad was spinach, the seeds that fell off the bun, a sliced up apple and PC Blue Menu's Lemon Poppyseed Dressing. I had some hot cocoa (with extra almond milk) and a pinch or two of all bran cereal not pictured, but I promise it wasn't much. ;)

Unfortunately my plan did not work and I was ravenous by 3:30.. I devoured a grapefruit, yogurt, hardboiled egg white and peach and then proceeded to bake cornmeal tofu muffins.

They're made with tofu, whole wheat flour, egg white, whole grain cornmeal, almond milk, and some oil. They're about 110-120 calories each. I had FIVE with some margarine.. :-o That being said, I love any freshly baked good--I will revisit before I am willing to post the recipe.

The gym was awful today though, instead of the usual 40 minutes I do on the elliptical (I did less yesterday because Sunday was 1h20) I didn't even make it to 10--I burnt just over 100 Calories and called it quits. I did work with some weights (which is rare for me) and then did an hour stretch clinic before going to a friends... either way, not my best gym workout ever, I was just so lethargic!

Following a Trend

2009-04-14T07:52:00.006-04:00

Oatmeal is a big favourite in blogland I've noticed, and while I usually have a small bowl with my breakfast I don't often make it the main feature. I decided to go with it today and made a bowl of oat bran with a large banana sliced into it (and a bit to just eat while I was waiting) and some dried cranberries sprinkled ontop. Wow, it was awesome and so filling--I looked up how many calories one could expect to find in just under 1/4 cup of uncooked oat bran and was taken aback to see it was somewhere between 50 and 75.. what?! I'm so FULL. The banana was huge though, I'll admit. I finished the last of my vanilla earl grey today, I'll need to get more soon... and I've really been feeling like baking since reading through everyone's blogs, so maybe I'll do that soon as well.

and a snack mid-morning...

Day 1

2009-04-13T07:37:00.002-04:00

This morning I waited until 7:30 to eat by taking a shower first... it made my hunger a lot less urgent (usually when I wake up my body is screaming FOOD) and I ended up even clicking around online until I truly was hungry agan. Then I served myself the second half of the 95% fat free garlic and herb cream cheese sammich (on potato bread from easter mmm... so white but so good), an apple, a grapefruit I had mistaken as an orange until cut, vanilla earl grey tea and a small bowl of oat bran.. both with unsweetened almond milk.

I put ginger in my oat bran and went to add cinnamon post-photo, causing my bottle of organic vanilla to fall and shatter. Luckily it was almost empty but still. :(

I took a quick 1h nap before doing the kitchen chore and then heading out to study, having a snack of a peach with 100g of Source peach yogurt and some pumpkin seeds and goji berries. Oh, and a little bit of nori. ^__^

Lunch was at 1pm with my dad--we went to an an indian buffet. I loaded up with salad, and tried a small dollop of most of the veggie dishes. Not pictured is the quarter piece of naan I had, and the small plate of cantaloupe, an orange slice or two, and a small dollop of rice pudding. It was very satisfying. :)

I studied some more and then had a pre-gym snack.

Went on the elliptical for 30 minutes (300ish calories) and did a bunch of crunches and some back exercises.

Dinner was leftover oyster mushrooms, and some green beans and portobello mushrooms with a balsamic vinaigrette... for dessert I had one more serving of yogurt, with some ground sprouted flax and chia seeds, and some frozen berries. To cap it all I had some homemade, sugarfree cocoa.

Balsamic Green Beans and Portobello Mushrooms

1 generous handful green beans
1 large portobello mushroom
1 leek, chopped up
3 cloves garlic
olive oil to pan fry
4 tsp balsamic vinaigrette (approx half/half balsamic vinegar plus olive oil, with some salt and pepper to taste)

Preheat the oven to 450F. Toss the trimmed green beans and roughly chopped portobello in a baking pan. Pan fry the garlic and chopped up leek until golden, add to the pan and toss with the green beans and portobello. Drizzle with balsamic vinaigrette and cover with tinfoil. Bake until tender.

Sugarfree Hot Cocoa
makes one very large mug full

1T cocoa powder
1/3 c. sugarfree almond milk
1 c. water
2-4tsp sweetener of choice (to taste)
1 drop real vanilla

blend cocoa powder, sweetener, and as much almond milk in a pot as needed in order to make a paste. Add water and stir on medium heat till hot; pour into mug. Add in rest of almond milk to cool a bit, and sip away happily. (If you're not sure how sweet you want it, add sweetener at the end rather than at the beginning. Alternatively you can blend in a mug and just add boiling water, but the taste doesn't develop as well. Adjust the amount of water to taste--I like it somewhat watery. Feel free to add protein powder if you want an extra bit of protein!)

PS So I guess this is almost like a diary, judging by the fact I document my day give or take.. chances are it will stay like this, so I wont be offended if you don't wanna follow it. ;)

The Goals,and The Rules

2009-04-12T21:37:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I've been through a rollercoaster of weights these past two years. 154 to 128 back up to my current 138 or so. I was happiest with 130, and want to go back to there. It was somewhere I managed to stay without much thought for quite some time, I just feel I need to get back.

Meanwhile, every summer I "get athletic", so this summer should be no different. I'm working as a research assistant instead of a lifeguard for once, so it will be new, but it should be good.

So first of all, my goals:

1. To go down to 130, or lower so long as its via a steady healthy method. (No anorexia, no bulemia. I do have a history of both--they're how I origionally lost weight, which is the only reason I explicitly say it.)

2. To have an athletic (under 20% body fat) body.

3. To feel physically fit. I will consider a marathon or triathalon, but I will not force myself to commit to either; this is hopefully a life decision and learning experience and not necessarily to achieve a proximate goal.

My Rules:

1. To photograph, or at least document, everything I consume BEFORE I consume it. No more eating a full jar of peanut butter with a spoon just because.

2. To only eat when I truly am hungry. Re: peanut butter + spoon.

3. To go to the gym/do an athletic activity at least 5 times a week, preferably 7. My workouts are generally 40 minutes cardio at least, and I'd like to incorporate weight training. Running outside is lovely and I'll hopefully do a good bit of that, plus I am a gym member at the Uni gym riiight by my work anyway, as I'm working on campus. I should get a locker...

4. To eat as healthy and balanced as possible, and stick to my vegetarian diet.

5. To ONLY weigh myself on Sunday mornings at my parents. No weighing imbetween, it's just destructive and makes me obsessive. While this is a major effort I don't want it to be an obsessive goal.

6. To enjoy life nontheless! I want to feel free to go out, have fun, and be a normal individual. This will include the occasional scoop of frozen yogurt or plate of nachos I wasn't truly starving for. I will not "punish" myself, I will just continue from then on with my diet as was.

7. To start tomorrow (Monday, April 13, 2009) and continue until Monday August 31, 2009. In that time I will stick to these rules, post my activities, food, thoughts and musings, some photos and on Sundays; my weight... and hopefully attain my goal weight and fitness level in this 4+ month period. Honestly, 8 pounds in four months is not hard at all and I should be able to do it. So here goes.